The Distractors’ Cut: Heirs 18

An actor I greatly respect once said that every story has a passage, moment, a frame, a sequence, an episode, that encompasses the whole of what a writer/director sets out to depict or express—- and ever since I heard that statement, I can’t help but find that point in almost everything I watch. Unfortunately, when it comes to dramas, once I get that moment, I’m no longer interested in seeing the(ir) ending, for I don’t believe there’s any more to be said and the point has been made.

Heirs has meandered its way into being a drama that won’t be on the top of my list, but also wasn’t as badly comical as Ekun and I had envisioned. It’s been pleasant but taxing and with two episodes left we are both elated it’s coming to an official close. But, if I were to mark the journey, I could walk away and never look back, after this episode and the shot above.

*** Don’t forget to check out Stone Cities for more TDC: Heirs***

Unnichan: I think this little statement might send Young-do in overdrive. He likes fighting and loves having Tan as his opponent, so seeing him give up, might really get to him.

Ekun: I think it will make him sad. He really should kick him because that is ridiculous Tan. What did we go through all of this for?!

Unnichan: Heartbroken girl.

Ekun: Did I mention how Young-do is my boo of the year? It took me all year to find him, glad I did!

Unnichan: Every day. Aigoo. I want one too! But I can’t think of anyone that truly fit the bill.

Ekun: Sorry about that Unnichan, perhaps yours will come in 2014. What the heck is WonTan talking about? Why don’t I care?

Unnichan: Well at least you are there for Tan this time Hyung but I’m singing Jojo over here.

Ekun: Won looking like a Hyung now. If only it were 2 episodes ago.

Unnichan: Tan is insane girl. I am sick!

Ekun: I know girl, hugs, snacks, and liquor won’t fix this right here.

Unnichan: I hate it when Hyung is right. Now he’s begging for Meguk? I don’t want him over here looking like that.

Ekun: LOL! I shouldn’t laugh but I found that comment comical.

Unnichan: Why Hyung looking concerned about Young-do?

Ekun: Young-do! Stop it (don’t stop) *Kiss*!

Unnichan: That’s right Young-do. Why he gotta school you Hyung?!

Ekun: Krystal speaking her native tongue…

Unnichan: Lol. Bo-na, how is his face supposed to look? He’s concerned about his friend.

Ekun: Girl, she is concerned too. She just can’t have him looking at her Facebook page like that.

Unnichan: I know. She’s crazy. Clearly someone is hacking her account. As usual.

Ekun: Oh no, is she going to delete all his hacking comments?! *closes eyes*

Unnichan: I hate when people do stuff they’re going to regret. You don’t delete memories. Oh it’s your song…

Ekun: Boo. I am scared Tan is going to jump off a cliff!

Unnichan: Girl, if he does I’ma beat some tail in the writer’s room.

Ekun: I like Hyo-shin’s Jacket, I want it in a different color though. Hyo-shin is a good friend and hyung to him. I want them to go to America together and live the way they want to live.

Unnichan: At least he’s meeting Hyo-shin. He’ll help him step back from the ledge, like The Goo Goo Dolls. He’s been there. It’s true. “Easier to breathe”— I like that Hyo-shin sunbae.

Ekun: ♬I wish you would step back from the ledge my friend.♬ Young-do found the house? Not surprising but cute.

Unnichan: Oh no! Young-do is everywhere all the time. I love it and hate it.

Ekun: I need him everywhere all the time. *Wink wink kiss* Momma made him a meal. Girl, his rice is going to be salty with tears. Is it good Young-do? I’m glad.

Unnichan: Mom and her soft heart. Gosh I love her! Young-do might cry.

Ekun: Mom is great, love her.

Unnichan: He is! I see tears, girl. Heartbreak. Crap!

Ekun: OH! He telling all his biz to momma too?! I need him in my life!

Unnichan: And he revealing the business? AHH! Young-do is….

Ekun: Why is WonTan calling this heifer to his presence again?!

Unnichan: I get tired of WonTan and his antics.

Ekun: Die! Just… My words are too harsh but it is what they all need for him to do to live peaceful lives..

Unnichan: How is she out of place saying what she thinks and feels? What world does this man live in? It’s not like she said they kissed and had sex… Boo.

Ekun: Girl, does he live in Joseon? I am glad she spoke her piece and asked him to leave her alone.

Unnichan: I’m glad Eun-sang. Be honest and say what needs to be said. I’m proud of her. She didn’t get indignant but she said what we wish more heroines would say.

Ekun: Tan ah!!!! What is going to happen Unnichan?!

Unnichan: It’s my song!

Ekun: WTH is this!? *Throws popcorn that the TV*

Unnichan: What did you expect? They can’t do anything at this point. Everyone knows how they feel.

Ekun: Look! I can’t! You know I am sleep deprived and everything needs to go the way I want it to! YAY! He got on the bus!

Unnichan: I love that Tan always goes back. HE ALWAYS SHOWS UP. That’s hot.

Ekun: Dream catcher Tan ah *Pats on bottom*

Unnichan: My lighter is up girl.

Ekun: *Sway with cell phone lit up* Ironically, my phone background is Kang Ha Neul.

Unnichan: I’d collapse too.

Ekun: She went after him! Eun-sang that means this is it right? No more shenanigans? Never mind…

Unnichan: Backhugs make everything better. I promise.

Ekun: Naw, I am not a backhugs kind of girl…

Unnichan: As long as you don’t scare me, I’m fine but do it cause I love you, not because you’re being a possessive mess of a man.

Ekun: Daddy *Nenenenenenenenenene* That is all I hear when you open your mouth. ♫What does WonTan say? Yayayayayayayayayayah! Nenenenenenenenenene!♫

Unnichan: WonTan is scum. Total and complete scum. This heifer didn’t raise her kid. You threw him away. Now you blaming her? I am not a Momma Tan fan so I don’t care about what you say to her, but speak truth instead of lunacy.

Ekun: Uh oh, is Momma Tan fed up and trying to roll?

Unnichan: Girl, yeah, that’s exactly what she should’ve done eons ago.

Ekun: Young-do? I don’t do sexy but I can be something….

Unnichan:Kekekeke. I love me some Young-do. If I was Rachel I’d say… “Is that a promise?”

Ekun: LOL! Right!

Unnichan: AAHHH! Momma wrote notes?

Ekun: Won and Hyun Joo. I need these two to be together. I think it is interesting how the two brothers took two different approaches to get what they wanted.

Unnichan: I can’t with these two. Hyung dating girls and she’s still laid up with him. I can’t live that kind of life. But then again, she knows what’s she’s doing.

Ekun: Won ain’t thinking about another girl, he barely has time for her.

Unnichan: I know, he loves this girl. It’ll be forty years waiting for you Hyung. But if she doesn’t regret, I won’t say anything.

Ekun: Hyung paid her (Eun-sang) a visit! Is he going to make things right nee-chan?

Unnichan: Hyung! I think you’re right.

Ekun: Hyung, I really do appreciate when you do things like this. Why couldn’t you not do that bastardy thing that made me look at you with dirty glasses!?

Unnichan: Hyung believes none of that lip-service.

Ekun: Isn’t that why we love Hyung? He doesn’t believe anyone’s lies? Not even Tan’s.

Unnichan: That’s some great advice I think Hyung.

Ekun: Why is Tan always trying to get on a plane to America?! Running will not fix it boo.

Unnichan: Do I have to repeat myself? You better not come over here looking like that Tanah! Pfft. Hyung and his exasperation over these grades.

Ekun: It is funny, because you can tell that he cares. And because last place is like WTH!?

Unnichan: I get so tired of these heifers “disappearing” all the time. That phrase just lights me up!

Ekun: Unni? Why do I not care what she wrote in this letter to Tan ah?

Unnichan: Lol. I happen not to agree with everything she said in the letter, actually. But I think we’re supposed to be glad at least she wrote and left one.

Ekun: It is real Tan ah, she is sitting next to you. That is some good acting Min Ho.

Unnichan: Girl, he should get up and walk away like it’s a dream.

Ekun: You know he is not going to walk away. He needs this girl to breathe! Remember the 50 cent crack ho look? It is not a good look for Tan.

Unnichan: The power of the dreamcatcher.

Ekun: YOUNG-DO! *Wink wink kiss kiss* Sorry Eun-sang, he don’t want to see you right now.

Unnichan: Don’t do it!

Ekun: LOL! Bo-na is hilarious. He can’t even get his friend’s phone number?

Unnichan: BO-NA!

Ekun: *Samsung Product placement*

Unnichan: Of course! Can’t do a thing without!

Ekun: If Myung-soo doesn’t stop trying to cheat!

Unnichan: Why does Myung-soo always look like he’s doing something wrong when he’s taking exams?

Ekun: Because he is girl- cheating! If only I could make Young-do think about me like that *brewing a potion*

Unnichan: Nothing’s going to happen. And it shouldn’t cause he’s illegal.

Ekun: He is 18, ne?!

Unnichan: Still illegal.

Ekun: AiSH!!

Unnichan: These noodles look BOMB!

Ekun: I know, I am a little hungry too and my popcorn is gone.

Unnichan: Poor Young-do, he’s so worried.

Ekun: She said the thing I hate most! NO HO YOU CAN’T BE FRIENDS!!! Ugh!!!!

Unnichan: He said the thing I love the most. Cause that friends stuff is for the birds.

Ekun: Girl, you know I eat it up. Another reason to love him to the last drop. Boo of 2013!!!

Unnichan: Don’t walk alone Young-do. Sick… again. I hate he’s always making my heart hurt.

Ekun: ♪I’m walking away, from the troubles in my life. I’m walking away, oh to find a better day.

Unnichan: I do love some Craig David. I need to check on him. I miss him.

Ekun: Why are we spending the night again Tan? Why are you starring Lee Min Ho?

Unnichan: Cause he does that the best. The very, very best.

Ekun: I thought that too… Until I saw George Hu in Love Now. Tan ah? You too deep for Noona tonight; I don’t want to hear those things right now.

Unnichan: I like those excuses. They hurt but they work. I didn’t even need all that but I get it Eun-sang.

Ekun: What else were we pose to do Tan!? You scare me always…

Unnichan: Is there a shower at the studio?

Ekun: It is likely there is. Myung-soo is always there with a baggie so perhaps.

Unnichan: Girl, why’d I spit out my limeade, in here listening to Momma Tan and Ahjussi?

Ekun: Why did I gag when Momma Tan she called him Oppa? Daddy WonTan ain’t about to let things go down like that girl.

Unnichan:  FINALLY!

Ekun: He is such a controlling old geezer! Look at him… He exiling her?! Ugh!

Unnichan: It’s his way of staying in control and acting like it was his idea, then he’s hoping she’ll beg to come back.

Ekun: Oh, she mad. She called out his government!

Unnichan: Girl YEAUH!

Ekun: Young-do to the rescue! Why are they such carbon copies?

Unnichan: Oooh I love this olive.

Ekun: It is kind of hot… and it’s Young-do. Slow Mo run!

Unnichan: Hide her away Young-do. The yakuza is good at that kind of thing. Plus, this is a Mom issue.

Ekun: LOL! You and the Yakuza and the Choi family! I bust out laughing all the time.

Unnichan: It was my childhood dream— to marry into the mafia.

Ekun: Poor Young-do ah. I need him to have a buddy at the end of this show Unnichan! He is always alone!

Unnichan: Look, he has Myung-soo. He chooses to be alone by not letting anyone in. I hope he’s learned something. That little kid’s voice was kinda deep for middle school. That’s some frightening stuff.

Ekun: He went to see daddy?! Lord have mercy on us all! This conversation always makes me tired.

Unnichan: The confrontation had to happen but I’d be tired of talking to this fool.

Ekun: That’s right Tan ah. Get buck and roll!

Unnichan: Yea he’s said all the right stuff. WHAT! You in the hospital? PAHLEASE!

Ekun: That man is insufferable. No one really cares that you are “sick” WonTan. Love this coat Tan!

Unnichan: And if he doesn’t show up?

Ekun: Hyung giving more advice in the office? Tan apologizing? Can’t we have more conversation before this party and clear the air?

Unnichan: The air is as clear as it’s going to get until Tan blows up this birthday party.

Ekun: Aww, did you think that Hyung forgot? He didn’t forget.

Unnichan: Naw, he’s just probably never said that before.

Ekun: Why is Chan-young threatening to break legs?! He has given in to Bo-na’s crazy!

Unnichan: I love it girl. And Hyo-shin and the gang. Precious. Absolutely adorable.

Ekun: Tan got a new doo! Love it. Min Ho really is a good looking kid. Looks better with his hair out of his face.

Unnichan: So yeah, Eun-sang looks great. Is red her color?

Ekun: I don’t like that dress though, the color is fine I just wasn’t feeling the cut or something.

Unnichan: The dress is a “whatevs” but I love the color and the length.

Ekun: Uh oh, the hurdle of the birthday party “BLOSHITUP” mission is about to go down. You know, I always think why didn’t daddy let these two run their course and break up? It is very unlikely that they will end up together because not many high school sweethearts do. They would have went to college, grown apart, and broke up. I guess I am too practical or too much of a pessimist to believe that they will actually stay together. Now that they have gone through so many adversities they probably will stay together. I don’t know. Just a thought.

Unnichan: Look you know WonTan ahjussi has something planned to embarrass and degrade everyone. I just hope that Tan has a plan and executes it as well. He said he’d go too quickly which means he has a grenade ready, I just hope it doesn’t fizzle.

Ekun: Agreed, if Tan does not have a plan this is going to be a more tiresome party than it already has to  be. I don’t know how much more I can endure Unnichan– thank goodness we are on the home stretch.

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