The Distractors’ Cut: Heirs 10

Just when we thought Hell was about to burst wide open, the Devil is sidetracked by exams and camping trips. Rachel and Tan remain financial human  sacrifices, as she tries to pull a fast one. And a round of paintball proves you don’t have to be an heir to be a tragic romantic hero.

Unnichan: So do you think Young-do will put the pieces together immediately or just think these two have been lying about their “closeness?”

Ekun: Well, I think we always have to ask “What would Tan do?” Since they are the same person and all. Honestly, I don’t care as long as I get a good looking picture of Young-do… Why are these two always so!

Unnichan: Kekkekee. It’s nice that Tan thinks on his feet, though outing them may be a little premature, but whatevs.

Ekun: Run like Forest Gump girl!

Unnichan: You know Eun-sang can only manage wide-eyed shock and mild irritation at the drop of a hat. Good thing she catches on relatively quickly.

Ekun: Oh Snap! Tan just went over to Daddy Dukes establishment!? Daddy Dukes the F!!!!!

Unnichan: See Young-do, you can dish it but not eat it? Aigoo. Daddy what the heck? Is that what you’re doing all the time? Making sure emotions don’t well? That’s your excuse?!

Ekun: DADDY DUKES!!!!!!!!! YOU NEED TO SEEK HELP FOR THIS ABUSE!!!!

Unnichan: I am tired Daddy!

Ekun: Girl… this is worse than we imagined. I am tearing up over this right here. Young-do… Noona will bring liquor and snacks.

Unnichan: Alcohol for the cuts first I hope. It’s a sad crazy mess in here today. I just can’t. Daddy is an abusive lout who using Momma like a common two bit whore.

Ekun: I don’t waste liquor on cuts when there is peroxide and rubbing alcohol for cuts and boo boo’s.

Unnichan: I meant rubbing alcohol of course, Chingu.

Ekun: I specifically said liquor Unni, we need a drink after this momo. At least I do.

Unnichan: But I was hoping you’d be patching wounds not drenching them. Oh Young-do… Why Tan gotta do this in order for you to get it together Young-do? I think this drama is about which character is more pitiful, ne?

Ekun: Maybe, they are all pretty rich kids with problems. It’s almost like the show is trying to say the rich have more problems because of money.

 Unnichan: Momma Rae what is your endgame? If you rally care, then fine but if not… Young-do I understand your skepticism but I think it’s more fear than anything else.

Ekun: Momma Rae? Where is Daddy Yoon? There he is!!!!!

Unnichan: She’s calling him right now isn’t she? AAAH! I can’t with these two Dongsaeng. I can’t.

Ekun: These are the two that need the “Love is the Moment” song.

Unnichan: They didn’t take their moment so perhaps it no longer applies? Daddy Dukes always looks disgruntled. Yuck. I need these people to get their lives together.

Ekun: Daddy! You going to hit Momma Rae too?! Damn!

Unnichan: Has it already begun?

Ekun: Momma Tan I said— No…

Unnichan: I just can’t muster up a care, girl. I think this is one of the best outfits Tan has worn, and that’s not saying too much.

Ekun: That houndstooth pattern is cool. I feel bad for him and this momo with his mom.

Unnichan: Kim Tan does whatever he wants, man.

Ekun: Kim Tan what?! Dating! Never mind. You are just doing what Noona- Coach told you to do. Adaso.

Unnichan: The entire world knows you two will breakup Tan, please. Work with Noona, mmk.

Ekun: Tan’s saying pretty good stuff again. Don’t give up your dreamcatcher traits Tan ah!

Unnichan: He won’t. He didn’t mean that crap girl. He just wanted to give her something to think about. Since she did the same and all. They have a pretty balanced relationship in that regard.

Ekun: ♪♪So tell me your story♪♪

Unnichan: It’s a sweet sentiment. Yuck! Theses crows at the schoolhouse! Young-do!!! Oh you talking to Rachel? Not in the mood for that.

Ekun: Young-do! ♪♪You make me wanna leave the one I’m with and start a new relationship…♪♪

Unnichan: ♪♪ Wit’chuuu… This is what you do…♪♪

Ekun: ♪♪Think about a … ♪♪  Wait—-Haha! Evil bastard. I love you!

Unnichan: His face looks fine to me Tan. But mmk. You fighting in front of Teach with wipers? Oh boys. Have I said today how much I love that Chan-young is about “the business?”

Ekun: Chan-young. I love his adorable self. He is such a good ride or die.

Unnichan: He is. He is. Now see, I think it would be awesome if we see more of this introspective Eun-sang moments. From ep1 dude. *sigh*

Ekun: Young-do? Can you leave this heifer alone!? F! She is really trying to study.

Unnichan: No! He can’t. He’s an inquisitive one. Are you cheating Myung-soo? Why do I find that comical?

Ekun: All these fools look like they were cheating except those who can’t afford to be at the school. Hot mess.

Unnichan: A H.A.M. it is. But Young-do isn’t cheating. He’s playing, pulling a Daddy Yoon doodling. Maybe those two (Rachel and Chan-young) are brother and sister? I think it every episode girl. Every one!

Ekun: Tan! You got last place!

Unnichan: That is pretty embarrassing Tan. Lol!!!

Ekun: Young-do just scared me with those “bedroom” eyes at Eun-sang.

Unnichan: Hahahaha! Look bedroom+eyes+ Young-do don’t exist in my vernacular. Ok Rachel’s skirt is too short. She stood up and I was scared. Or maybe she shouldn’t wear pleats?

Ekun: Those skirts are typically ok if you have no curves but Rachel may be a bit on the curvy side.

Unnichan: Shin-hye is curvy or at least wider than most and she’s not having these problems… Krystal is tall, so that can’t be the issue. Maybe they just got her cut wrong. I’m telling you, this stylist… Hyo-shin ah! I love that he’s observant and can pretty much says whatever he wants to whomever. That really works for me.

Ekun: Even if he is not as rich as they are he is Sunbae– love that he uses his role wisely. Is he sick Unni? *Eyes closed*

Unnichan: Yes. I truly believe so. It’s just a guess though. You know my suspicious mind. It’s the influence of Elvis.

Ekun: Auniya. Please… OOOOO!!! Sneaky business ventures Daddy Yoon?

Unnichan: Oooh that look Hyung.

Ekun: Hyung always look good in a suit *Doom dada*!

Unnichan: But he rolled his neck this time!! You and Top. Aigoo. What does that mean? Do I just get to say it any time I want?

Ekun: Yea girl! I am. It’s like my new Boop Boop…. *Doom dada*!

Unnichan: See Hyung, this is why she wants to breakup. What is with all this parallelism? Why is everyone living the exact same life?

Ekun: Hyo shin! Why are you here?!

Unnichan: Don’t stand that close to me Ha-neul. Noona can’t be trusted. Is he about to make it to my 2ANL (Age Ain’t Nothing List)?! AAAOH! The forehead kiss!! He must have rewatched The Best Man for the  holiday movie release this week.

Ekun:AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ha-neul WAEEEEE!!!!! *tears tears*

Unnichan: Check mate Rachel. Like this coat though. Yuck. Why is she finally asking valid questions?

Ekun: They both have on nice coats. Rachel shut up please…

Unnichan: Daddy is truly exasperated like— ‘What?! That’s all?’

Ekun: He makes me want to vomit!

Unnichan: But what if Tan doesn’t want power Daddy? Isn’t that your deal WonTan Ahjussi?

Ekun: I know right!

Unnichan: Momma Tan you didn’t pay for this girls’ school! IF you and WonTan Ahjussi were actually married…

Ekun: Momma! Use your head for once! The majority of people know what Daddy WonTan was up to!

Unnichan: Uh oh! She crossed over!

Ekun: Oh no she went up the stairs for you Tan ah!!!

Unnichan: You trying to keep her Tan. Aigoo.

Ekun: Girl! F what Momma Tan is up to and tell him why you want him to go on this dern camping trip!

Unnichan: Oh no Tan! This is why he’s the catcher girl! Love is the MO-MENT!!! Lol.

Ekun: Momma Tan makes me tired and weary.

Unnichan: Girl yes. I try to ignore her. But I fail cause she’s so stinking obnoxious.

Ekun: Tan ah! Nice! Screaming, ne? I told you that would work in our last lesson. See how Noona- Coach prepares you?

Unnichan: Myung-soo is asking all the right questions. I wonder these things too, Boo.

Ekun: Myung-soo is the only one who asks appropriate questions.

Unnichan: Oh Bo-na. How is he a pervert? Oh Bo-na.

Ekun: How is that possible Bo-na?

Unnichan: Is Young-do smiling and the sun shining? That can’t be right.

Ekun: I don’t want to see that Sh***! Young-do smiling and stuff…

Unnichan: Take a pic of me Myung-soo. Cheesuh. Um Young-do being helpful? The earth is about to stop turning. I told you, Myung-soo remembers all.

Ekun: OOOOO! Can you help me put up my tent Young-do?

 Unnichan: If he says, “Yes,” can we go camping?

Ekun: We can’t, but he and I can. I promise it is the only way I am going to go camping. Myung-soo nooooooo!!!!!!

Unnichan: Ok that’s what the meds are for. Good. And bad, but mostly good.

Ekun: Hyo-shin? You tried to kill yourself! Girl I cannot do this!

Unnichan: Paintball is crazy fun but no joke. And I bruise easily so life is hard after a session. Myung-soo is so dramatic. Lol.

Ekun: He really is. I love him to pieces

Unnichan: Bo-na are you near tears?! Oh this paintball game is hilarious.

Ekun:Bo-na! I love this girl. This game is cray cray.

Unnichan: Only Eun-sang can make paintball depressing.

Ekun: Not in the mood for that. This game is fun as heck! Ugh!

Unnichan:♪♪ Shot the HEART! ♪♪

Ekun: ♪♪And you’re to blame darling you give love a bad name!♪♪

Unnichan: Myung-soo you are too much. Gotta love it. Young-do. Why you acting like you deserve to know anything about her?

Ekun: I like Young-do’s boots. He feels slighted because he wanted to be one of the ONLY one who knew.

Unnichan: Oh Young-do. I know you don’t want her to be frightened of you but you have to do better to get a little play.

Ekun: Well…. It’s his way.

Unnichan: This is what I hate. Didn’t these fools’ parents teach them to keep their hands to themselves? Who are you to hit someone else? Who?!

Ekun: Rachel the Hell!!!! AWWW NAW! We are throwing bows out here tonight!

Unnichan: I know right. And tell me why she didn’t listen to Hyo-shin?

Ekun: She is a self-righteous twit! That’s why. I see she needs another slap from her resident Unnie Ekun.

Reactions, Ramblings and Remarks

Unnichan: Girl you know what I just thought? Maybe the drama I want to see is the one where she hugs Young-do back. Not a Boys Over Flowers replay but where she likes him even with his crazy and Tan’s the one with the wrong idea. It’s not that I want that here though. I just thought it, in that last moment. ‘Cause usually the girl fights that feeling and isn’t loving or caring ever, then he changes and she accepts him. The drama I want to see is where the girl just loves him. When he pulls crap like what we just saw, she hugs him back, instead of being wide-eyed, shocked and pissed. In my drama, she smiles and squeezes him back. Which would shock him to death but that’s what boys like him need.  Ooooh I forgot about this song!

Ekun: I like it! We need to send that to our resident writers to make a story like that happen. Her loving the “Young do” character because she simply does. I think it would be interesting and can actually play out well here because Tan and Young-do are the same person. But Tan was there first and so the story must go as follows. But I really do like that concept.

Unnichan: Tan was there first and he’s her dream catcher, Girl. Young-do won’t do that. He’s no dreamer. He’s too practical and realistic for that. That’s why I love that he’s transparent with her. Oh Young-do, if only you’d picked the right chick.

*Check out episodes 11-12 @ Stone Cities.*

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