The Distractors’ Cut: Heirs 5

It’s hard to believe we’re already at episode 5 because nothing much has occurred. The funny thing is, I don’t think that makes Heirs any different from many other dramas out there. However, what does draw the line is that this fact is noticeable, undeniable and I’d be remiss for not addressing the reality.

But even with that said, you won’t find me complaining (too much). Rather, I see what pictures are being drawn and choose to find beauty in what is taking shape. My only desire is when the masterpiece is done, each road that’s been mapped, culminates in satisfying travail.

Ekun: Look at him. Just go in there Tan and be like “BOO!” Halloween is around the corner anyway.

Unnichan: See this song! I’m not in the mood. I hate that “love is pain” part! But I’m still not sure if he should say anything. I think he needs to think of his next move. He can’t be rash. When he’s ready to be a full-fledged, no holds barred stalker, he should. And I think he will.

Ekun:  I love that song! It’s all lament like. Oh Tan, it is going to be ok. None of the wretched things that have happened to her is your fault. The way she is living is not your fault.

 

Unnichan: Flashbacks. That’s right, it was her. Your heart knew it boo. Aw, he’s so good at being sad. And he knows it’s not his fault but it’s still a mess. He knows that this makes his “love” harder.

Ekun: Obsolete WTF?! Middle school?! Ahjumma bye! Hyung!!!

 

Unnichan: She’s a mess. I’m truly not in the mood for her poisoning Tan. Um, Hyung are you smiling and trying to flirt here? She doesn’t seem to be buying it, even with this little wishbone trinket.

Ekun: Oh Hyung, your tone of aggressiveness it kinda… Hot? Scary? Alluring? All of the above?

Unnichan: All of the above girl. All of the above. Hyung, both Brothers Han are in love with the poor girl? I KNEW IT!

Ekun: Heh! A guest? Tan? Just let him love you Hyung! Please!! *TEARS*

Unnichan: It better be Tan. You know he’s a stalker. He’s always loving people that don’t want to love him back. Letting anyone in?! Hyung! How could you say that?! What am I going to do with you? You truly make my heart ache. Tan needs to become more cunning and sly. He’s too innocent.

Ekun: Tan?! LOL!!! You like a ho hiding from her pimp because she didn’t meet quota! Hehehehe.

Unnichan: What Momma! I like this dress though. Lol! Yea. I knew he was going that route. It’s adorbs. He’s a ho? Eun-sang’s a pimp? Pfft. That’s a hilarious analogy.

Ekun: Every now and then I can dish out a clever one. Look at the fountain! I love things like that.

Unnichan: Aw, you protecting from afar Tan? This score is so Disney fairytale. They must be trying to beat us over the head with the Cinderelli vibe.

 

Ekun: Daddy Yoon! I want to have a drink with you and Hyung! What I got to do?!

Unnichan: Frequent high dolla’ bars in Seoul? Daddy Yoon, are you and Hyung drinking and bromancing?! I LOVE IT!

Ekun: I need to be right there in the middle. Drinking, laughing, chatting. Look what slinked its way in here. Ugh!

Unnichan: It looks like that’s what Hyung is thinking too. Daddy Dukes is a mess. Did you see how his face dropped? Yuck. He’s an elitist, classist *censored*

 

Ekun: Wait, I didn’t girl. He sucks though. Look at Rachel Momma run after Daddy Yoon.

Unnichan: Yea girl. It seems she pulling an Usher “You Got It Bad.” I’ma call her Momma Rae from now on though.

Ekun: AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAAH!!!!! Daddy Yoon!!!!! Dr. Pepper was about to be all over my living room!

Unnichan: Girl be careful. Dr. Pepper is precious sustenance. But wait, what just happened here?! Did he just… Daddy was drunk but my goodness! He literally had her hemmed up! OMO! OMO! OMO! No wonder she singing Usher.

Ekun: Sorry for my outburst, I am good now….

Unnichan: That was a “surprising?” I didn’t want to accept the “Me and Mrs. Jones” bit but …

Ekun: Look, I told you it was going down every now and again- I am a realist. She wouldn’t be sprung so hard if there wasn’t a slip up every now and again.

Unnichan: Oh. It’s like that Eun-sang? Me thinks it’s the fantasy that has you pinned up though. Not the dude. Not yet.

Ekun: Perhaps, but can’t we (Unnichan and Dongkun) say it was? We are pro “Tan in her face” all day everyday, ne?

Unnichan: True, but…Tan! Fo’ real?! How can a clear wide-eyed shocked expression be interpreted as “excitement!” You are too much for me today.

Ekun: Tan lives in his own world at times. Noona says, “It’s okay to believe what you want to believe (some of the time) Tan ah.”

Unnichan: Oh Tan. You trying to be cool and commanding. It’s cute but normal girls don’t have time to swoon over that kind of stuff. They have jobs to get to. Wait, You hacking and bombing people’s accounts now Tan?! Noona loves it, but teenage me would be pissed. Heh, seems like he’s decided to go full-blown stalker now. Ahahhaa.

Ekun: Tan! Why you calling people to get other people’s number?! You!

Unnichan: That was cute. He knew she wouldn’t give it. Now you snatching? Oh he’s such a 3rd grader.

Ekun: He is but that is why we can continue to like him in the midst of all this depression! Chan-young was probably like, “Why is this fool calling my phone?”

Unnichan: Lol. I know that would be my first thought. Now Tan, look at you, showing up unannounced got her mind off the job. She’s gonna be messing up orders and stuff now. And as a consumer, I need my pumpkin spice latte correct!

Ekun: She better get her life together, messed up drinks come out of your check! Oh you thought Daddy Yoon wouldn’t say that Tan? He did and its true.

Unnichan: I’m beginning to think that Daddy wants the brothers to join forces.

Ekun: Daddy Yoon or Daddy Daddy? DADDY I KNOW NOT! Not in the mood at all. You didn’t raise these boys you wretched BAMF!

Unnichan: Yoon, of course. I feel he isn’t just on Tan’s side. I think he has more going on. Ugh. Daddy Wontan, you are… I have no words. Whatever Daddy. Your sons are Casanovas like you… Wae! Stop meddling.

Ekun: Oh Momma, Eun-sang is just trying to be realistic and I know that is hard, but some people really do live without ambition and live wonderful lives.

Unnichan: It’s true. It’s sad but she’ll figure things out. She’s afraid to want anything. That’s why I think she met (needs) Tan. The dreamcatcher.

Ekun and Unnichan: Myung-soo ah!!!

Unnichan: What is this Tan? Pfft. She thinks he’s taken stalking to staking out her house.

Ekun: The jig could be up Tan ah… Oh, perhaps not, she’s a little slow it seems. You want a meal Tan ah?

Unnichan: I do like eating scenes. Oh he loves this… being dragged around. See! Shameless.

Ekun: Myung-soo!!!! LOL! You a total mess! Bo-na stop lying girl. Chan-young is adorable. Wicked Wench of the South Rachel, makes me want to give her slap of clarity every time I see her. She don’t even have to open her mouth. I want to be that Unni that checks her all the time like, “Girl please!”

Unnichan: Myung-soo, I love you. Truly I do. “I was singing inside?” Wow. But Chan-young is the best. He’s too adorable.

Ekun: You thought he would tell you he back girl? Auni. You know that fool hung up, so does Young-do.

Unnichan: Rachel is an insecure delusional twit. Why would he clue her in? He doesn’t like her and he isn’t thinking about her. She and everyone else knows that.

Ekun: Momma Tan is stupid. I can’t with her.

Unnichan: Rachel this is getting old. Young-do won’t bite. Tan, wow. She is a simple person that needs to quit.

 

Ekun: Daddy what you scheming now?! I am not in the mood for your random “acts of kindness”.

Unnichan: He’s an old man that never stops ticking. I wonder if he’s more savvy now that he’s in the chair, than when he wasn’t. He seems like the type. Daddy is playing games with his son’s heart. That’s what he’s doing.

Ekun: Thanks Mom! I get it Eun-sang but you need to get your life together and think about your future; there is nothing wrong with playing the game a little to get a better result in the end. However, I understand her being upset over this.

Unnichan: I agree with Eun-sang. She doesn’t care about that stuff. She just wants to live peacefully, right now and I get that. The future means nothing if your present sucks the life out of you.

Ekun: Oh ok, he trying to put some distance between them. Daddy SUCKS *Censored*! Young-do is so cliche… a rottweiler? The Ruby Red Slippers are back!

Unnichan: I told you. He’s playing games. It’s one of the best ways because he knows what he would do if he liked a girl and whether I’d like to admit it or not, he knows Tan’s a softy. Exactly! As soon as I saw this rottweiler. Young-do. Young-do. I like this color Doozy though.

Ekun: Young-do! I like you a little more, but this is a mess. He got Blue Slippers too?

Unnichan: I’m thinking Rachel is going to start feeling bad for him one day. That’s the best way to a woman’s heart. But somehow I see it being a Jojo‘s “Too Little Too Late” for Young-do. See, he’s into bikes, metal and killer dogs. Now all he needs is a tattoo. I suggest a tiger on his shoulder.

Ekun: Of course she will. Doesn’t he seem like her Momma and she seem like his Daddy? I am just saying…

 

Unnichan: I think their parents are hollow caricatures but I have hope she and Young-do will put down the hate one day. How much? That’s ridiculous! I couldn’t be paying that kind of money for a uniform. Ugh! Rachel why you always making life hard. WE ARE STRANGERS! I was taught not to converse with those types. And isn’t it interesting how in dramas after couples breakup they are “strangers” but every other character can just stop randoms on the street?

Ekun: Girl F! that uniform! Clothes should never be that much, and you know I love me some shoes too. Rachel PLEASE!!

Unnichan: I love you, Young-do!

Ekun: YOUNG-DO!!!!!! He a mess.

Unnichan: Now, see, why does that sound like you are intimidating people Young-do? Not in the mood for that. But I can’t help but laugh at him. He’s witty in his own way, ne? Or is that just me?

Ekun: You better move that raggedy bike out my way before I kick it…

 

Unnichan: That is not happiness on Chan-young’s face. Maybe because he knows what’s ahead? Or maybe he’s not so perfect after all?

Ekun: I told you he wasn’t. Loving cray cray Bo na loses major points.

Unnichan: His cool points are tentative. I like this color Tan. Do you call this eavesdropping? I guess not. He kinda has no choice.

Ekun: Heh. He prob not used to it, ne?

Unnichan: They met at the house. This won’t make her happy. But I get it. He wants to be to her, what she is to him. Either way, it’s for the best. It’s better for her to know and then he go hard to win her.

Ekun: I am telling you! Invade her space Tan ah! But I am glad that he went ahead and revealed himself. It is less of a surprise to get pissed about later. We have a lot of other hurdles to jump over besides this minor revelation to trifle with.

Unnichan: This song may bring a tear one day. He’s the dream-catcher, girl. He has to. But he has to be a man and stand firm.

Ekun: Tan why you always asking her questions like she is a “cog” or “bolt” turning in your mind?

 

Unnichan: Jeguk looks like a University. This is ridiculous. Wait, it looks better than my University.

Ekun: You right, it does. Why is this the worst!? Rachel Yuck!

Ekun and Unnichan: Myung-soo ah!!! YAY!

Unnichan: He’s so friendly! In my pocket!

Ekun:  Not if he’s jumps in mine first.

Unnichan: You know dems fightin’ works, ne?

Ekun: Kekekekkeee.

 

Unnichan:  Hyo-shin overlooking the minions. Interesting. Wonder if he’s just a spectator or is he an instigator? Oooh the rock music! Guess this moment is important. The rival Pride leaders meet— Scar and Mufasa.

Ekun: Ha-neul–  I mean Hyo-shin!!!!! He calling people Lucifer and whatnot! Young- do! This music is kinda hot for this welcome of Young-do and Tan.

 

Unnichan: This Young-do look is kinda great. I think that Tan puts on a façade to remain in King status in the “jungle.” I wonder how this is all going to play out…

Ekun: I agree, it seems to be that way, ne? Eun-sang What?! This scene just looks poorly directed, you walk in the random crowd and don’t know? I don’t think so. Hated it!!!!!

Unnichan: It’s convoluted at best. I’m mean look at Myung-soo’s face, even he’s not convinced. But I’m just going to believe, since she’s at school, her defenses are down. She doesn’t know anyone, so she isn’t trying to be aware of her surroundings or appearance and has her face in her phone. She senses a group but doesn’t consider them congregating… It’s possible, just not very plausible.

Ekun: Thank you for clarifying, because I was about to throw a big “No Ma’am” your way. Most people would have walked around the crowd, not straight through it. When you text and walk, you can still use peripheral vision to avoid walking into people; through a crowd is simply nonsensical.

Unnichan: Exactly. Like I said, it happens but not quite like that. Most people would’ve looked up before stepping “into” the crowd. It’s not just common sense, it’s subconscious awareness. When you are distracted, face down (reading, texting, examining the earth’s axis, searching for rabbit holes), you usually avoid people whenever possible, because you naturally don’t want to collide. It’s called self-preservation. Therefore, she should and would have bypassed the crowd all together. In reality, she would’ve wandered into the door behind Rachel without giving the crowd a second thought. At the most she would have looked behind her and then noticed them because either her brain registered familiar faces or simply because they were blocking the doorway.

Rants, Reactions and Remarks 

Ekun: So a lot has gone on since Tan is back in Korea. I still feel like this was a “setter up” episode because we had to get her into school, she had to interact with Young-do, and she needed to know Tan’s true identity. Honestly, the thing that I am caring about is Tan and Won’s relationship. It is the most fascinating part of the story to me. We can get a lot just off that storyline. I am in the STREET over Daddy at this point. He again is in the midst of trying to ruin other lives because of his selfishness.

Unnichan: I agree. This should’ve been episode 2, possibly the beginning of 3. It’s been dragged out to create some sort of background for Tan and Eun-sang, that I don’t really buy yet. What we saw in America means as much with 3 episodes, as it would have with 1 ½. One could try to blame it on the amount of characters in this show but in those first episodes we barely saw them. And of course, the biggest seller to me is Tan and Hyung, however, this little snippet of Tan at school has my interest piqued. We’ve always known he was a bully but Bo-na’s concern for Chan-young and his safety seemed deep-seeded and real (eventhough she is a little self-absorbed), then his attitude at his arrival was definitely a shift in the persona we’ve come to know and gush over. It’s so Pretty in Pink I tell you! Wait, so that makes Young-do, James SPAAADER!!! AAAH!… Sorry, I digress (I LOVE HIM!)… All the Daddies are making moves that have me questioning and since they must be in the drama (Thanks Writer-nim *side eye*), I’m glad I at least see their purpose, even if I find them unnecessary.

Ekun: I agree that Tan’s shift has ?? in my eyes as well. Perhaps, it has everything to do with that crown. I also take what Hyo-shin said into account, “Lucifer has returned to the Hell with all the demons (Ekun’s paraphrase)”—- that is coming from somewhere. Perhaps, the Tan we know and love is only subject to a few. We shall soon find out. On to 6.