Soredemo, Ikite Yuku: Episode 8

Entering the mind of a killer is frightening but can be telling in ways that surprise us all. A little bit has been revealed about the past, now it’s time to see if history will repeat itself.

Goro shakes Maki but there’s no response. Shunsuke calls the police after seeing Goro cradle Maki in his arms. New Girl walks in groggy, overhears and asks if she’s dead. Then walks over to the sink to rinse the blood from her cut, muttering– “He did it again.” Shunsuke looks on in horror.

Kouhei confirms their directions at a nearby station and reports they are on the right track. Then asks Hiroki what he plans to do when he sees Fumiya– “Hit him?” He goes on that many may find him indifferent but he’s not, then blames his inability to act as he wants on his new family. He sputters on about his manga philosophies as Hiroki drives. In the dark, Hiroki’s lights flash on someone trailing a bike. He turns the corner but recognition hits him and he stops and runs after him, pressing the knife to his chest. But he drops it anyway. When he looks up, the man is gone. Behind him, Fumiya walks up to the train platform and sits alone looking through a mapped brochure of his future plans.

Now the boys are lost, bickering, they pull over as an ambulance passes by, then a van stops– it’s Shunsuke. Hiroki inquires after Fumiya, but Shunsuke only hangs his head.

Kyoko makes dinner, wondering how Futaba has been feeding herself, not too surprised to hear she’s been dining on meals of ramen, ramen and a random spaghetti sauce. They figure everyone has met up at Chiba by now, when Futaba’s phone rings. She answers thinking it’s Hiroki but silence meets her ears. When Fumiya finally speaks, he’s clearly irritated at Futabas interest in Hiroki. Futaba tries to ascertain his whereabouts but his answers are cryptic. And tells her everything that’s happened is because she wouldn’t leave with him.
This time Kyoko’s phone rings and the Chiba news is delivered, Kyoko from Kouhei, Takami from Shunsuke. He tells her he’s not positive that Fumiya is guilty but he suggests she and Akari pack up and leave immediately.

Hiroki, Kouhei and Shunsuke arrive just in time to hear Maki’s prognosis— she’s suffered major brain damage and there was sign of a struggle, therefore, the authorities have been notified. Hearing the update, Shunsuke leaves, Hiroki hot on his tail.

Shunsuke rumbles through nightgowns, trying to find the best fit for Maki, when Hiroki thinks aloud of how Yuri is left motherless. But Shunsuke isn’t willing to jump to conclusions, adamant that its only a possibility.

Hiroki: Before he died, my dad said, he’d do it again. If only we’d found him sooner.

Back at the hospital, Shunsuke hands what try purchased to Hiroki to give over to Goro. The boys introduce themselves, he admits he’d heard the story and hoped Fumiya had reformed. He continues that he’s shocked and guilty that he let him near his family.
The doctors explain the Goro that the surgery went well. Maki had a cerebral hematoma and has remained unconscious. The likelihood of her waking is slim. Goro concludes it’s a coma and she may never wake, then collapses to the ground in a fit of tears.

Futaba finishes her bath and overhears Maki’s update. Kyoko encourages Hiroki to stay and help as much as he can. When she turns to see Futaba listening, Futaba rushes to leave, saying she needs to meet someone. Kyoko demands to know who it she’s meeting– “Hiroki? Her dad? Fumiya?” But Futaba is only thinking of the victim, bows and replies “The victim’s family.”
Takami gets the call as well and tells Akari to go to bed for school te next day, while Akari isn’t sure attending school is the best idea but Tamaki is insistent. When she leaves, Takami breaks down over the sink.

Next morning, the police disturb New Girl’s breakfast to search the premises. In his van Shunsuke relives the memories from 14 years ago, the press and pressure. They’ve all spent the night at the hospital and Goro passes out buns and drinks to everyone as a “thank you.”

Yuri asks after her mother and Goro eases her concern by telling her she still had a fever , when the Sodegawra Police show up. The doctors lead the straight in to see Maki’s condition but Hiroki blocks the way, for they haven’t allowed the family visitation yet. The doctor explains that crime comes first but Hiroki doesn’t budge until Goro humbly gives permission.

Hiroki leaves to give Shunsuke his food but he’s missing. He’s wandering in traffic, when Hiroki catches up to him, then grabs him right before he’s hit by and they both crumble to their knees.
Shunsuke wails, afraid he can never live down his sons sins, At this rate can I ever redeem the past?
Hiroki offers his food — Her father bought this. He said it was for you. Then he retrieves Shunsukes wallet and eyes a family photo– The Misaki’s smiling.

The police question Goro who informs them of Fumiya’s past. Shunsuke listens at the door, then steps in to give more information as the assailant’s father. Futaba pulls up in a cab just as they all file out for the station. Shunsuke reassures her all will be fine, when Goro notices she must be his daughter. The realization snaps him and he bangs his fists against his chest, demanding Shunsuke return his daughter.

Futaba stiffens as they drive away. Hiroki stands before her, staring directly in her eyes, knowing what she’s thinking — This is not your fault. But she knows it must be, My brother said it is.”

Yuka and the baby get off the bus with a young man and fumbles with her stroller that refuse to open. Fumiya passes her by but at we distress, offers to help. Kyoko returns as Yuka is handing the baby over to Fumiya in order to help around the place. Kyoko asks Fumiya to sign the registry and he signs in as Amamiya. She notes the name and feigns texting her son a question in order to send him a message of Fumiya’s appearance. The baby needs a changing and Kyoko hands him over to Yuka to get them safely out of the room and she can keep an eye on Fumiya.


She helps him pack up for his fishing exertion and spies a pocket knife, then slides it out of sight. But Fumiya turns seeing rather blatant move, and she calls him by name. She tells him Hiroki isn’t home and asks why he came. He came for Futaba but she’s with Hiroki. She continues that there was an incident at a Chiba farm– that a woman was attacked. Fumiya stays ignorant and Kyoko grows angrier as he pretends to know nothing of what happened and tries to leave. Kyoko won’t have it and steps after him, knowing he’s the reason Maki is in hospital. He repeats that he doesn’t know anything, that he doesn’t remember what happened, that he’s ill and Kyoko slaps him. She grabs his hand and presses it against her womb, explaining how Aki grew and her excitement as a mother at her impending arrival.

They struggle as she forces him to face her but Fumiya pushes her away and screams into the air. He slams her to the ground to choke her but she fights back, yelling that he can try to kill, that he may succeed but she won’t die, not until he does.

Fumiya: Aki was beautiful floating in the lake. That’s what I remember. So don’t be depressed, Auntie.

Futaba zones watching the fields pass as they drive. She talks to Hitoki about when they would be able to live happily with their whole hearts and figures the day may never come– “I want to die.” Hiroki glances her way and stomps to a stop.

Hiroki: Dying is fine too. I think, if Toyama dies, I would die too.

Futaba: What are you talking about? Fukami and I are from two different…

Hiroki: Who cares about that anymore! Don’t say things like taking your life anymore! If you say that to me, I… I would forget everything if I could. I would abandon everything if I could. I want to go somewhere so far off, that no one know about. Where no one knows us. Where there’s just the two of us.

Reactions, Ramblings and Remarks

This was never a joy-filled drama, and the last episodes are finally delving into the heart of the problem, the mistakes of Fumiya Misaki. He’ attacked another person and that’s all anyone can think about– He’s done it again. This truly is a depressing fact, for I had hoped he’d never make such a destructive move again. But what is equally sad, is no cares to ask why. At this point, he’s just a murderer, someone everyone has been waiting with bated breath to screw up again and now he finally has. Fumiya has killed another person– destroyed another family and further damaged his own. I won’t pretend that I don’t have deep compassion for Fumiya but I also won’t act as though he isn’t or hasn’t been in complete control of his actions. He chose, this time, as a man to hurt another person. This wasn’t the mental imbalance of a child but the anger and distress of a man, a confused and disturbed man, but one fully capable of choosing against violence. Though the incident itself took two individuals to accomplish, Fumiya should have walked away, no matter how hard it was to do so. Even his conversations with Kyoko and Futaba reveal that he’s a man rational enough to feign ignorance and displace unfair blame.
My favorite moment in the episode was the small beat between Hiroki and Futaba at the police station where he stares at her and tells her, she isn’t at fault. It was brilliantly acted by Eita, because he looks angry at her, like he will turn on her like everyone else would, with the current situation but his face isn’t angry but stern. The moment is wonderful because it’s further proof that he understands her and has a deep concern and genuine heartfelt compassion for her. Their last conversation is a replay of all their previous ones, but with one distinct change, their lives are no longer separate. Though they were always connected because of their past, now their connection isn’t just the murder or the residual feelings of disillusionment and guilt but by their present stirrings of affection and companionship. They have become one another’s rock, comfort and security.

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